A Constant Visual Feast

Maybe one day I’ll sit down with David Howard Thornton and ask him this, but for now I can only wonder: Can a person interact with Art the Clown without dying?

Everyone and their cool traumatized grandma has canonized the “shower kill” as Terrifier 3‘s best kill, and I am sure a significant chunk of those people consider it the best kill of the year*. The shower scene is tremendous and real darn gross. I have no complaints or pointers; I just think the “Santa Kill” is better, in part because it’s also gross, and the tension is unbearable, and Daniel Roebuck clearly understands that being killed in a slasher is a high honor. He’s having a hoot and a holler with it, underneath all of the, y’know, dramatized mega-suffering.

My broader review of Terrifier 3 isn’t just focused on the kills, though they do come up, because that’s what you’re watching movies like this for. But I go back to the pre-murder part of the Santa Claus sequence and I think to myself: “What if Santa and his drinking buddies hadn’t given Art shit for being a terrible guest drinking buddy?” We never get to find out answers to questions like these in the Terrifier movies, because inevitably, Art kills people, but I can’t help thinking that one way to stave off Art’s wrath is to embrace his love of chaos; maybe don’t get mad at him for pissing on your leg, and if you don’t, maybe he’ll leave you alone.

Wishful thinking. I’ll revisit the thought one of these days. Meantime: Here’s my piece on Terrifier 3 for Cool Material.

*I’m a rebel like that, though, so no, the “yoga kill” from In a Violent Nature deserves that title. The “Santa Kill” is a close second. And, while I’m at it: The “reach into a turtle-zombie-mutant-monster’s butt and into its stomach to grab the handgun it swallowed, then pull the handgun’s trigger” kill in All You Need is Blood is a close third. What an insanely stupid scene. I love it.